Psalm E Pakistan

The climax of the movie border always leaves a warm fuzzy hangover. Though it’s about a war, the song at the end does make you feel that the war was a mistake and both of us have so much more to worry about than fighting over boundaries or anything for that matter. I was always interested in Pakistan, and writing about Pakistan. Any Indian or Pakistani of the Present day or at least the youth would have strong feelings about the whole partition of India episode. Some objective and some perspective, but all of us have views, bends, feelings and a stance. 

India was one of the founding members of the Non-Aligned Movement in the 50s and 60s while the USA and the USSR were busy making pacts and treaties to make their respective power blocs bigger and stronger. Now one might say the Non-Aligned Movement was started by poor or the then 3^rd world nations because they just couldn’t risk supporting one and be the target of the other’s fury. As it is, the Non-Aligned Movement is based on a bigger idea. Its about Believing that it is possible to remain neutral at any time by anyone. And being an advocate of being objective I support this theory and hence have always held an objective view over Pakistan. 

A few months ago, say 2 or 3 maybe I picked up Shashi Tharoor’s Pax Indica. It basically talks about India’s foreign policies, foreign relations and India’s place on a global setup. He spoke extensively about Pakistan and India. The chapter was rightly caller Brother Enemy. Pakistan is after all born out of India and the people are more or less Indian. They always have. 

Mr. Tharoor speaks of partition, Kashmir, the different wars we’ve had and finally talks emphatically about terrorism. His points are straight and precise, and so yet sensitively carved live the curves of Megan fox. (Sorry whenever someone says curve I think of her :D)

He talks at length about the gaps between the INTELLIGENCE and the civilian government of Pakistan. Its a known fact that the INTELLIGENCE is sitting on tones of cash. In fact the INTELLIGENCE gets almost or more than half the total budget of 1 fiscal year. So in a situation where there is a serious lack of schools, hospitals, or in general amenities of life the army and INTELLIGENCE suck all the money out of the people of Pakistan. The army isn’t too keen on listening to the will of the civilian govt. and caters to its own goals, which may not always be intended at the best of India, and in turn resulting in the bad of Pakistan it self.

I was torn in half when I read these. Of course I knew that the army or Pakistan and the civilian govt. don’t always see eye to eye, but the revelation of the fact that the govt has limited hold on the army did raise my brows, like my eye brows was one with my hair.

Another question boiled into me was who’s gonna tend to the people?  The politicians made a lot of noise and puffed up the people that theres a need to end Musharraf’s rein as president and there a need for proper democracy and what not. So the people did get excited and come out on streets and after a lot of crazy things (beyond my comprehension) there were elections and Muhammad Mian Soomro was elected president.  And after Benazir Bhutto’s murder, the PPP was elected to power and Asif Ali Zardari became the President. All this is fine but what are these people doing? 

Pakistani people are still struggling against the terrorists, there are criminals hiding in Pakistan thanks to the INTELLIGENCE’s invitation and reformers and socially responsible civilians are killed in broad day light.  And if you’ve been complaining about the raise of fuel prices in India, the fuel price is way over a hundred rupees in Pakistan, and its gets worse, price determination happens every week! 

So is the democracy drama and all the things these politicians did to overthrow Musharraf an eye wash? I asked my Pakistani Orkut friend of 3 years. 

Yes! 

The one answer with an exclamation mark was like a gun shot at point black.

He went on to say, 

Things were very good in Musharraf regime, call him a dictator or whatever you want to but he is the man who supported freedom of media. Even pak's economy was boosting. And now things are pathetic. You know, he was the one who set Pak before Islam. That’s what a country needs. 

It felt nice to listen to him. I probed more and asked,

Ok what do see for Pakistan in the Future?

I can not say anything here. If you see the history of pak, there have been some good times. But when they start building up they falter somewhere. so I can only hope that future is bright; which is only possible by imparting proper education. There is a dearth of rationality among masses and one simply CANNOT understand religion without education. Thats my opinion yours can differ obviously.

I definitely had no reason to differ there. I was also stunned at his strong emphasis on improving education. I liked that. I had never spoken much about national politics with this guy. It had always been about Harry Potter and cricket. Except one odd day when he’d told me he wanted to be a computer engineer. 

So I bit the bullet and finally threw a tough ball at him. 

Me:

cool... one big question thats really been eating me

your cool right?

He:

haha

yeah

Me:

yeah.. so

the question is

how does one remain patriotic and try not to be ashamed of his country and not choose to make rash decisions when there are so many figures pointing mistakes from outside and so little action been taken from those responsible?

He:

thats a tough one

and mature people here in pak do think about that

Me:

but good question right? ive been thinking a lot

He:

yeah good question!

but majority satisfies itself by conspiracy theories

it may sound weird to you

but majority here thinks that all these nations are anti Islam

anti pakistan

and that is the reason why all this blame game is being played

Me:

some ppl get high on substance.. some on religion

He:

true

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It was really something. It gives a lot for the Brain and Heart when there are people thinking and acting like this guy. The teenager Malala is a example. She’s another example of the youth wanting rights and education for their people. She was a strong, neutral voice talking of the truth and that offended many a bad man. Too bad the system just won’t let such people run the country. It also reminds me of a beautiful video featuring mid/high school girls from Pakistan talking about how they really feel and how they are made to feel about the Indo-Pak relations.

Rounding up this post, I’m not going make comments on the partition of India or the numerous wars or other difference India has had with Pakistan because this was never a political write, the post was aimed at talking about the people in Pakistan. (I don’t know if they call themselves aam janta :D) I wanted to say that we need empathize with the people of Pakistan. On the one side there is the adamant army and intelligence with its own agenda (no one knows what the army wants) and on the other side there is the helpless civilian govt and politicians fishing for power and money. In this quarrel... what’s to happen of the people of Pakistan? Does anyone care about the people anymore?

 

Nine Over Mine

The breezy Wednesday morning had more to offer than just blowing air and ice cold water in the tap. The first smiles of the morning were delivered when I saw my nine year old cousin’s name in my inbox. There was a mail from my aunt, who wished to share her son’s first article in the papers with me. 

My cousin Sanath is a 9 year old school going child who likes playing Cricket and is a huge fan of Rajini Kanth. He loves Tamil movies and songs, and off late has found a liking for the Kannada movies of Puneet Raj Kumar. 

Being born in a family of teachers and administrators, Sanath is insistent on solving problems.

HOW I COPE

I worry that my teacher will shout at me if I do not take the books correctly. Therefore, I have made it a habit to check twice that I have kept the books correctly as per the time table.

When I get very angry or irritated, I follow my grandmother’s advice to drink two glasses of water. I also try to figure out if I am hungry and if this is true, I eat something. Many times, I feel my anger goes away along with my hunger.

Sometimes, I feel stressed before the final exams and at such times, I pray and this helps me to calm down. 

Whenever anything happens that makes me feel very bad, I talk to someone – my mother, father or grandmothers, about it depending on who is there at that time. Also, I try to keep in mind what my mother always tells me when I get upset about something: “For everything, there is always a solution. All you have to do is remember this and think calmly.”

~ Sanath

The write talks about coping with problems from a 9 year old’s point of view, but it makes sense to all. The point Sanath makes in his write is to seek help.

If only our pride grew shorter with age…

Why grow up??

Good memory you have ya, I hardly remember anything I did as a kid.

Was kind of a late reply.

Mine was a little quicker; I said

The trick is to never grow up. That way you don’t have to remember the things you did as a kid cuz you’d still be doing or atleast thinking the same things.

I thought more after she said:

Ah! How I wish to be a kid again.

Children’s day is not far; remember to let yourself loose this children’s day… Right now I gotta get some sleep... so bye good night! 

Little did I know then that I would be thinking about this chat while at bed playing catch till sleep was offered. It wasn’t long before I realized that I had just said something that I had never really believed. Suddenly I had told someone that I didn’t like growing up. Shocking. I really wanted to be a grown up. I was always treated like a kid. Something less than grown up - insignificant. I don’t know if it was my goofy way of talking and staying funny in an immature way or just my appearance, but I was always looked upon as an insignificant kid. I was always irritated when people called me or said that they thought of me as a kid, especially girls! Huh! Wait till I take my pants off, you won’t call me a kid then! 

Thinking about the insignificance of kids, it reminded me of an episode of Two and a Half Men; where Charley tells Jake “you’re a kid, it doesn’t matter what you think”

Well, I did laugh at it.

Staying over the thought of television I remembered a popular Hindi movie where Ranbir Kapoor gets yelled at for being too immature by a girl who later becomes his lover. Ranbir doesn’t retaliate in denial. He comes out and yells back at her admitting that he is a kid, and if trying to prove yourself right  or worrying about future is all that grownups do then he never wants to grow up. 

I appreciated that scene, but always thought responsibility made me happy.

Another such episode was from DraganBallGT. A scene where Goku, Pan and Trunks were looking for a DragonBall under water. Guku just takes off all his cloths and jumps into the pond. Pan gets grossed up looking at her nude grandpa. She yells at him and tells him that he is an adult and should behave like one. To which, Goku says:

If being an adult means swimming with your clothes on, then I never wanna grow up.

It’s just marvelous how almost nothing bothers a kid. Children surely are the little lamps that spread joy and love everywhere they go. An old story that’s still shared among people of Vasantapura is the story of Raaghu Bhattar and Shiva Swamy of Vasantapura. Shiva swamy and Raaghu Bhattar were big men of the village, one a devout shiva worshiper and the other a strict vishnavaite. They never saw each other and never entered each other’s temples. They were the modern day version of vasista and vishwamitra.

It was the days of the yearly village fest in vasantapura. The whole village was on the streets and there were just as many visitors from other villages; some were city dwellers from the nearby Bangalore. The scene was just lovely. Bouquets of Music and Dance performances in the village’s center square, vendors of a hundred kind occupying every inch of the road and women wearing cloths of every imaginable color, all saree clad; each like a traditional Indian woman.

 Raaghu Bhattar and Shiva swamy were very busy, talking, meeting, smiling and bowing at every visitor. They had to keep their contacts with the rich devotees. Though they were both happy and occasionally spoke to the same person, they never once looked at each other.

 It was after the dust had settled and evening prayers offered that everyone took to the center square again. A kid tugged on shiva swamy’s dhoti. He was crying. A three year old lost kid was lifted on to the shoulders by Shiva swamy who went about the square trying to make the kid from crying. He knew very well the kid was Raaghu Bhattar’s grandson. Yet he held the kid in his arms and walked over half the village. 

 To this day, the dwellers of Vasantapura speak of this tale of how an insignificant three year old melted the heart of a high priest who detested the other pillar of the village. 

Maybe that’s why being a kid is so nice. Being insignificant and not bothered by it, not bothered by position and status, and the least bothered about what others think of us.  Maybe it is the urge of proving our significance that makes us old; the conscious struggle to make a place for ourselves makes us lose the meaning of belonging.

 People generally see the dawning of responsibility or being able to take decisions or simple earning and feeding as coming of age. But is it really worth it? Is money and pride really worth the innocence and carefree childhood? 

Everyone grows up into an adult at some time. But that doesn’t mean the child in you has to die.

After all, Child is Father of Man. 

Timepass for real??

The name of this blog, Dr Timepass was something I came up in my first year college for a nerd band, we thought it was geeky enough and also had a little word play involved. We thought Time would eventually pass and swallow if not solve everything.  It’s not much, but if you had academic and romantic setbacks early in college, then this line can mean a lot. We would live strong thinking about the future; thinking that these times would just pass.  

Can time really heal? I always doubted.

Most of my learning and revelation happens at work, a certain Wednesday of March 2012 was something similar. The wooden wall décor in the meeting room of 8^th floor reminded me of a bed time story my father would tell me when I was little. 

I’ll try to keep it short :D

The story is of a young boy. He was a very mischievous and rather rough sort of a kid. He would fight with his friends at school, knock things off shelves in grocery stores and things like that. His father would be badly hurt by the complaints brought by the other people in the neighborhood. But he never raised his voice to scold or yell at his son. Instead, he went to the market and got a plank of plywood and a hundred iron nails. He called his son and explained.

‘Look son, every time I get a complaint from someone I will hammer a nail into this board and at the end of the week, you can come see how many complaints I got and decide what you want to do about it’

The son being his rough and unruly-self walked out not bothering about it.

As days turned into weeks, the father would do his hammering of nails as the complaints increased. The boy never came and saw the plank. 

After a few months, the father was shocked and hurt to see that the plank was full of nails, and his son had never once come to see the plank.

The father went to his son and called him to see the plank. On seeing the wooden plank packed with hard iron nails something struck in him.

He would eventually realize his bad deeds and turn to the ways of good. His father would then tell the boy that it was never late to correct his mistakes and tell the boy that he would remove a nail whenever someone came around to praise the boy.

So, in time the boy turned to the ways of being good and earned a lot of love and respect. His father would also be happy on receiving praises of his son and would remove a nail each time.

When all the nails were removed of the plank, the boy stood by his father proud chested and asked what his father thought of him now. The father being a man of intellect, told him 

‘Observe closely, all the nails have been pulled out, but have the holes been filled?’

The boy would hang his head and then look up in remorse. 

‘What is once done cannot be undone. No matter how hard you try, the holes cannot be refilled.’

It brings us back to Dr Timepass. Is it really impossible to fill some holes? Does that mean the phrase “time heals” is bull crap? 

Ah time, so fascinating, so frightening, and so precious. I just wish I have enough time to fill those holes.

Fight For Who?

As I picked up the old book again, the words 

“he didn’t want nothing for himself” 

grew over me. Bound by its echoing cries I took a closer look, close enough to smell its age. April ’80 was written at the bottom of the first page. A few faded words making a sentence could be made out just above the date. 

It read:

"Do you think you can fight for others?

Usha Ratna"

The person who had gifted this book to my aunt over 30 years ago had  mockingly laid in a stiff punch.

I had missed this line when I first started reading the book. Maybe it was the eagerness of starting my first Steinbeck or the poise of being allowed to try a communist book or simply getting a book from my aunt, I just missed it. 

But it came back with all guns blazing.

I was lost for words, emptied of thoughts, and devoid of feelings. I was lost. 

Thirty years after the book had first traded hands, it spoke to me. 

“Do you have what it takes to fight for others?”

I don’t know. 

Maybe I do. Maybe it’s easier to fight for others. If you are fighting against being selfish and looking for ways to be selfless. Fighting against bonds, trying hard to stay detached, free, and bigger than yourself. Looking for some kind of meaning, a place, your place; without losing your balance or the touch of reality. Then maybe we should take to fighting others’ battles. 

Or do we even care?