What’s wrong with you? Why haven’t you written in almost 2
years? I asked myself. Is it because you're lazy or because all of a sudden
there are too many bloggers in the world and you suddenly realized you're not
as good as you thought?' Not easy questions to answer, because it was asked by
the self. Answering to oneself is easier than answering others, because as my
dad says 'Nam devr satya namig gotilva?' (Literally means don’t we know our
god's truth, or can mean don’t we remember that we hid the skeletons in the
back?) So I answered to myself, you're good, but not good enough for a. you're
not opinionated and b. you’re vocab is limited, of course your spellings suck
too.
That’s ok, most of the writers these days are like that;
sure, there's too much noise these days with everyone being a blogger, but
everyone was always a blogger, everyone always wanted to be heard. Why is it
more noisy now? Because English is easy? Because there are more readers now?
more people want to Google before talking? And there’s more people willing to
pay for writing? Because blogs are places to sell ads? Maybe. Are these not
reasons for me to write? Guess not.
Ok, if you don’t want money, don’t want to talk, don’t want
to enlighten people and are not opinionated, then why do you want to write and
why are you mad at yourself for not writing for long?
Good one, inner me. I started writing because it was good;
the popular ones had blogs at school.
OK you wrote because you wanted to show off your blog. Now
you don’t want to show off?
You're being ruthless inner me. The truth is I still want to
show off, I still think I can write better than some people and words line up
well when I start putting them together. And I like it when people read and
comment or appreciate my writing.
So you stopped writing because people stopped commenting?
Not true, I get comments. Some good and some bad because I
started writing about politics and some were anti Modi.
So you're Modi fan friends started liking you less because
you're anti Modi?
Wow wow wow... slow down when did I say I'm anti Modi?
Hello, I’m not Raaghu or Vatsie or anyone. I’m inner me. If
I called you anti Modi then you are anti Modi.
Oh yeah... Sorry. I'm trying to put on a I'm not anti Modi,
I'm just neutral costume so that others can still be friends with me.
Yeah, I know. Fitting in thing is hard, but it’s ok. As long
as you don’t lie to me, I’m cool. But lying in general is not good.
Really? come on, you know that doesn’t work for me.
haha...
Ok, so you're posting this on your blog, I know you are. But
why?
First, because it’s a long text and it counts for a literary
work.
Second, because… Well I don’t, I had to post something. Even
if it a selfie.
Cool, but we still don’t know why you didn’t write.
I told you, ok maybe not in this text, but I told you, I’m
first of all, kinda lazy and lack-structure to stick to a schedule. Secondly, there’s
too much noise. I’m kinda feeble, so I don’t talk much when others are talking
loudly.
Hmmm... You mean empty vessels make more noise?
Yeah!
So all those talking are empty vessels and you’re
intelligent?
Not really... I'm just saying, people talk confidently when
they know, and people talk emphatically when they believe in what they know. So
I think, too many people are convinced that what they know is the absolute
truth and they want to put that out into the work as fast and as loudly as
possible.
And you don’t believe in what you know?
Not like that, but yeah maybe a little like that. Because I
call myself a reasonable person, like Brian, I want the freedom to change my
view about things as and when I'm supplied with new information.
Hmm... ok.. Good talk. Yeah post this on the blog. Who
knows? Maybe there are others like you.
